(by Michel Koopman - featured on Forbes®)

How can leaders provide feedback in a way that is predictably productive? Use a proven formula to net a positive outcome by communicating well-received criticism, creating trust and motivating great work.

Here is a formula for delivering feedback that doesn’t backfire.

1. Adjust your mindset. Going into these conversations with a positive outlook is essential. You have been given the gift of leadership and the chance to provide others with valuable business coaching. When they listen and act on your comments, it will improve their long-term success, happiness and quality of life. It might not feel that way initially, but instead of dreading it, take pride in helping someone evolve their career.

3. Start the conversation by stating your intent. When people anticipate a difficult conversation, they often will be naturally on the defensive. If you start by vocalizing your positive purpose and intent, someone’s guard may be lowered. You might say something similar to, “You know I value you as an employee and team member. My intent is to make you better over time, support your success and inspire you to be excited about what we are about to do as a company.”

4. Fast forward to the end of the conversation. Foreshadow the goals and intended outcome of the meeting. This will allow the other person to actively listen vs. feeling uneasy at the assumed end of the conversation. For example, “We will discuss a few of your recent projects, identify a few areas of opportunity for growth and make a plan for adjustments. Let’s leave this meeting excited and equipped for success together.”

5. Provide direct feedback. This means the feedback is not up for interpretation. Don’t try to package the conversation in a manner that spares someone’s feelings, but do stay mindful, tactful and completely professional. Remember, you have already tried to create a safe environment. First, describe the general issue. For example, “I have observed that you can be offensive and abrasive in your communication with colleagues.” Then, then give one example that you have seen first-hand, if possible, so that you don’t put the “blame” on the feedback on others. You are the manager, so own it.

6. Describe the outcome if a change is not made. If the feedback or needed change is material in nature, you might want to go the extra mile and explain that without change, the result can be damaging to the person, the company, clients, etc.

7. Pause, reflect and open up. Ask if they understand your feedback, create room for them to explain and ask if there is something you have done to contribute to this behavior. For example, “Is there something I do to create an environment that makes you feel defensive when explaining yourself in front of your colleagues?”

8. Arrive at a solution together. Ask important questions, such as, “How would you handle this moving forward, and how can I help you get there?”

9. Finish by highlighting their positive behaviors and achievements. Do this in a meaningful and genuine way. Talking about the current business at hand at the end of the meeting can lighten the mood and circle back to priorities.

10. Monitor and encourage. Take time—a day, week or month (depending on the situation)—to take note of improvements. Recognize when change is happening to encourage ongoing improvement. Move to a role much like a coach to maximize their success.

Now, let’s admit it: Receiving constructive feedback yourself and doing something about it might seem even harder than providing it. However, in life and in business, you must be able to take feedback to earn the right to give feedback.

Offering feedback and receiving it well is part of the evolution from “being the boss” to being respected and eventually trusted and admired. In the process, don’t get too hung up on being friends with your team, but always remain friendly. A leader does not have to be personal with everyone, but they should definitely be personable. To lead is not easy, and it requires both a heart and a brain.